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Saturday, July 03, 2004

We wants it, we does....

This was forwarded to me by my friend Rebecca (thanks,Rebecca!), who got it from the local SCA group message boards:
Got this off another list, from someone who sends this back to the Nigerian
scam letters.

Dougal

Dear Sir or Madam,

I am an Uruk of Mordor, charged with the discovery of a number of
valuable treasures within Moria. It has come to my notice that the
mithril hoard previously owned by Ori of the land of Moria has been
found by one of our cave-trolls. Under our laws, the hoard will be
shared between our lord Sauron and the local Balrog, but so far
neither knows the extent of the treasure.

Sir, I come to you as a respectful businessperson in order that we may
derive some profit ourselves from this venture, I would wish that I
could arrange for the transfer of half of the find to yourself,
costing roughly 20,000 silver pennies. From this amount, I will then
arrange for a further such that 25% remains your own, 5% goes for
sundry costs (including hire of strong Rohan horses for use in
transportation), 5% is given in bribe to the cave troll to ensure the
quantity reported to our respective Lords is adjusted, 65% belongs to
myself and my fellow Orcs.

In order that this be accomplished, I ask only that you provide
details of:

Your given name, and any name you are known by in the Western lands
Your race and land of residence
The location of your local Palantir or identity of your preferred
message-carrying bird or beast
The number of ponies you possess

In addition, a short missive is needed to ensure:

Your willingness to participate in this venture
Confirmation that you will not speak of this venture to anyone else
Confirmation that you do not wear any magic rings

I look forward to your returning correspondence, which can be
whispered to any passing magpie. I trust that you will ensure that
no other dark feathered birds come to hear of this transaction.